1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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