I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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