Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
