You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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