i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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