It's Friday. Sex?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
