This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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