after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
