Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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