It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
