Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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