For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
