i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize