I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
