He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
