She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Send help, water and tortillas.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
