kristin has been a bad kristin
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
