Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
