last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
So squirting runs in the family.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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