Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
