I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
