i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
