As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
