Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
