Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
