Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize