windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
