She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
i need some magic done to my vagina
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I need to align my fucking chakras
do nipples grow back?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
