I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
