her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize