It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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