i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
