i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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