she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
