I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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