You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize