A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
