Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize