Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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