thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
There's always time for handjobs
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
