The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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