people are starting to question the shark bite story
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
