is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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