We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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