so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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