Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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