doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
