I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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