Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I deserve this hangover.
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