she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
