Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Randomize