I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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