i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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