do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
