he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
