his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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