we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize