Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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