I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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