I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
